Trying to be an intelectual

It´s the sad truth. I´m trying to be an intellectual, I even write in English (although my relationship with English grammar is quite complicated).

It´s not only about thinking most of strangers is completely stupid. I´m starting to care what music I listen, not just random clicking at what I copied from my brothers external disc. I always knew that my brother listens weird music but I do really like it. And then I found myself listening alternative black metal Solefald thinking it reminds me Mystik spiral (fictional band in Daria). OK, one band, it´s not that bad, you say. Nah, it´s worse. More music, some art (I thing I might like William Blake (and his poems by the way) or that man who painted Solefald (and yeah, there is a connection between this and that (the band was named after the painting)), more books (last book I read was J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Monsters and the Critics and Other Essays (translated to Czech by Jan Čermák) and it was so interesting I decided I really should learn Welsh (have no idea HOW, though I´d love to). I downloaded Les Fleurs du mal in French... and everything I know about French is that it is spoken in France and have pronunciation I don´t know. Merde! Speaking (about) French, I´m going to read Illusions perdues by Balzac (translated to Czech, of course).

Today I decided to go to Math lesson (Elementary mathematics and statistics for Humanities, Pt. II) instead to a pub. (And it definitely had nothing to do with yesterday night (one beer, two beers, five beers, not that good an idea) and the fact I promised one classmate I lend her my hat.)

All in all I´m becoming more intellectual I would expect and liked... I´d love to be an idiotic blonde (who I actually am) not caring about anything more complicated than outfits (which are pretty important and I simply love my shoes with 8 cm high heels :D).

The worst things in my re-found intellectualism are my old friends cynicism and nihilism. Half the time I´m speaking, I talk about death, suicide and not enough sense in my life. (Actually, main part of the other half is about burning lolitas and raping. Not lolitas, by lolitas, you take the burning loli and rape someone using her. And I know I should stop speaking with M. and D. and not visit lessons of Self-defense. And I apparently have some serious issues...


It doesn´t make sense, does it? I really should write down main ideas before I try to write any longer text but that wouldn´t be me.

For grammar nazis: I am really sorry, please accept my deepest regrets for hurting your feelings. I beg your forgiveness for my insensitive behavior.

(I realize this picture is so creepy it might do more damage than my English....)